As I sit here in my bed, 3 weeks postpartum rocking my sweet little girl to sleep after an evening of cluster feeding...
I can't help but thank God for this miracle he has blessed my husband and I with. 3 and half years into marriage, and after 5 years of being together, 1 year almost to the day of being homeowners & now we have begun our family..
Although if you ask my husband he would say "completed" not begun. He's totally down for Hadley being an only child! And after the pregnancy and labor I went through I don't blame him! Right now, when my stitches haven't even fully dissolved I'm okay with having just one! But I know like most, as the years pass by I will miss these moments.. The newborn stages & long for more..
Maybe :)
This post is more for me to have so Hadley and I can look back and cherish the way she was brought into the world but I know some of you would love to hear the journey of her arrival.
I know like pregnancy, each one is different - so is every labor story.
I am sure many have had it way worse than me, and I'm positive some have experienced something much easier ... But this is my story
It really all started when I was 33 weeks pregnant. I went in for one of my prenatal visits to discover some protein in my uriene & high blood pressure. My doctor referred to this as preeclampsia symptoms so to be cautious of what my BP was on a regular basis and to let her know of any other symptoms:
Dizziness
Constant headaches
Blurred vision
Naseua
And just all around not feeling good.
My husband being the nurse that he is went out and bought a BP cuff so I could check it daily.
It started spiking regularly. Which landed me in the hospital twice a week until Hadley was born for Non Stress Test, a 24 hour urine sample (that was fun- yeah not!) & multiple labs to check my blood.
They classified it as gestational hypertension, but still were concerned with my health.
My doctor no longer wanted to weigh the risks once I hit 37 weeks so I was induced at 36 weeks 5 days. Since the only cure for this was to deliver the placenta.
So on February 19th, my husband and I finished packing our bags once he got home from work that Thursday & headed to "our last supper" as one of my co workers called it ... Haha
We wanted once last date night just the two of us.. Especially since we were going to meet our little girl 3 weeks before she was due.. Luckily we had the nursery done and everything was pretty much ready for her arrival..
We didn't have as much time left as we planned. We went to one of our favorite Cameron Mitchell places, Marcellas.
Our first date was at Martini's another Cameron Mitchell restaurant.. So for our birthdays, anniversaries & special occasions we always go to one of his fine establishments.
We spent all of dinner talking about how life would change, and what to expect. We wondered what she would look like, how my labor would go, I bet that Levi would cry when she was born (he lost!)
Around 7:30 that night we checked into our labor & delivery room at Grant Medical Center, where my husband actually works! It will be so neat to tell Hadley one day that mommy was born there and daddy worked there!
As we settled into the room, my nurse hooked my belly up to the machines to monitor mine & baby's heartbeat and make sure my BP was under control (which it wasn't, of course!)
8:30pm
I received my IV. Which if you know me well, you know this was a fear of mine I conquered. I have never been hospitalized or needed any major surgeries to the point of receiving and IV. Sounds so silly, but I was proud of myself. However when the woman was putting it in, I got a little flushed and became a little nervous then... This was all hitting me!
Laying there in that hideous hospital gown (I had actually brought my own cute one- that I never had the chance to slip into) my new arm candy that ready my name and DOB - looking around the huge birthing suite I realized this is the exact space we are going to be bringing our daughter into this world ..
After a brief moment of day dreaming c reality sank in and I realized she had to come out somehow.. That's when the nerves set in!
We waited around for the nurse to call my doctor and see how exactly she wanted to start my induction.. So I surfed channels and tried to pay attention to my weekly scandal episode but my mind was going a million miles a minute.
10:00pm
The doctor on call came in an installed a cervical ballon that was to be in 12 hours along with a gel called cervadil that would help dialate me and soften my cervix overnight.
She checked me right before and I was dialated to only a 1 but was starting to efface.
11:30 pm
Levi was snoozing on the sofa next to me.. As I felt this huge burst of what I thought was pee at first.. Except it just kept coming & I had no control over it. My water had officially broken on its own.
I woke Levi .. He insisted I in fact did just pee myself. I swore I didn't and asked him to un-hook me and help me to the bathroom ...
As he did he noticed my trail of liquid and called my nurse ! She was surprised as well! She then proceeded to take out the balloon since he can't stay inside one your water has broke .. And called my doctor back to see what plan B was!
12:00 am
My doctor wanted to let us wait out the night to see if my body would kick into high gear and just go into labor naturally.
My nurse checked me again and I was now at a 3cm ! At least the balloon did something !
I spent the rest of the night watching prison break via Netflix on my iPad while my husband slept on & off. I had way too much excitement and nerves built
up to even think about sleeping. Looking back I wish I would have taken this opportunity to get some shut eye though.
Aside from the excitement my contractions were too strong to sleep through at this point. They were about 3-5 mins apart, but not very long in length.
5:00 am
My nurse came back to check me I was still at 3cm so she called my doctor and they decided to finally start me on pitocin.
Shortly after my parents arrived. I wanted my mom and husband to be the ones in the delivery room with me when our baby girl was born.
My mother and I have always had such a strong bond and I hope to recreate that with Hadley one day.
Once the pitocin set in my contractions were in full force! But again, not lasting long enough. I had never felt pain like this, I am going to be honest. In most cases I have a very high pain tolerance, and these were by far taking my breath away.
7:00 am
Thankfully after shift change at the hospital God blessed me with an AMAZING labor & delivery nurse whom has been doing this for 30+ years!
Immediately she taught me the breathing techniques of Lamaze. She referred to the process of blowing out birthday cake candles, making quick short breaths.
This helped tremendously! Though the pain was still severe, it was workable.
8:30 am
3 & half hours after my pitocin my contractions were now happening every minute and were so intense I was almost in tears. When my mom tells the story she always says how there were moments during them, when her and Levi were doing the breathing techniques right along with me, and the look in my eyes was compete terror.
There were times I didn't think I would make it through the next contraction.
My nurse offered to give me a drug called newbane to help take the edge off.
She checked me again to see what my progress was. Apparently you can not take the drug within two hours of labor, so she had to make sure I hadn't progressed too quickly for it ..
I sure hadn't.
I was only at 4 cm at this time ..
She told me as she inserted it that I would feel a little light headed and maybe even tingling.
And that it did! When she put it in my IV my whole body relaxed. The pain was far from gone, but I was able to get some rest in between contractions and not tense up due to anticipateing the next one..
10:30 am
I had hit my breaking point. I was ready for my epidural. My nurse called for the CRNA and it seemed like it took for ever. By the time he got to me, my contractions were still a minute apart and the newbane had begun wearing off by now, so they were as strong as ever.
I was so scared that it was going to be too late and I wasn't going to be able to get it. I remember asking Levi, begging him to make sure I still could - with tears in my eyes.
But all was well! I got it , twice actually. When he installed the catheter portion of it the first time it was mid contraction and I must have jerked, because it fell out and he had to re install in a second time. That wasn't fun! But it was so worth it!
Shortly after my contractions went from pure pain to slight pressure. Levi kept saying all day "Molly what's your favorite word?" And I would reply in an upbeat shouting voice "EPIDURAL!!!" Lol
The rest of the afternoon seemed like a blur looking back on it. My doctor was in & out as she had scheduled surgeries that day in OR just down the hall from us. She encouraged me to rest and to save all my energy for pushing.
I had family from both sides in & out of the room that day, and some of my closest friends. It was nice though to see so many loving, supporting, familiar faces in a time like this!
I tried to nap, and was able to for a couple hours when everyone went to lunch.
2:00 pm
My doctor came back at 2 to check me and see how I was progressing. I was now at 6 cm! Music to my ears! We were getting somewhere.
Now days they don't consider "active labor" until you are 6cm + but let me tell you... It hurt wayyyyyy before then! I felt like at this point, epidural to thank for it, we were smooth sailing.
Until I started to break into a cold sweat. My whole body started shivering. They had my nurse bring in some warm blankets and they wrapped me up like a cacoon. I couldn't control the trembling.
My blood pressure was being taken every 15 minutes since I was admitted and the last few times it was getting a little to high for everyone's liking.
I had formed a fever of 101.6 & rising.
I began eating ice chips like crazy (since that's all you are allowed to consume during labor.)
4:00 pm
Fever still going, they sent for my doctor and had her check me. I was now at 9cm! My left side of my cervix however wasn't softening like the other, so they had me roll over on my left side and sat the bed all the way up to allow gravity to pull Hadley down the birth canal even further, and hopes to soften the rest of my cervix by applying all that pressure.
My epidural had started to wear off a little, because I could feel my contractions again- but only on my left side. They had given me a button to push throughout to release more, but my stupid machine wasn't working each time I hit it. We didn't even realize it until I was getting ready to push !
Back to my breathing & blowing out imaginary candles I went!
A dear friend of mine had this beautiful blanket made with Hadley's name on it that we had drapped over a chair in the room, I kept staring at it during every contraction just trying to picture her face, and imagine what she was going to look like.
If she was going to have my nose , or his lips! It really helped me push threw there at the end.
4:45 pm
Go time! My nurse came in and said we were going to begin pushing to help move things along for my doctor until she got back.
All day she was so calm and soothing. When it came time for me to begin pushing it was like a switch flipped in her!
My husband said she was like a drill Sargent and was barking orders left and right and was on top of it!
5:15 pm
My doctor finally made it back and she joined the team as I pushed for about an hour & half. Each time her head would poke out and as soon as I stopped pushing it would suction back in!
I remember them saying though "she has a full head of dark hair" I was shocked. We thought for sure she would be blonde! Since Levi and I were both born with blonde hair, however he is now a brunette and I am naturally that dirty dish water color.
But I will admit I recall thinking "that heartburn wasn't all for nothing!"
Wives tales say the more heartburn you have during pregnancy , the more hair your baby will be born with.
5:30 pm
My fever was increasing & Hadleys heart rate was now rising from her usual low 150's to high 180's +
My doctor informed me that she was going to let me try one more time pushing, but that she mostly likely was going to "help" me get her out.
My husbands mind immediately went to c-section. Luckily I couldn't hear his thoughts or I'm sure I would have panicked a little ...
She was referring to forceps.
My mom actually had them used to remove me during labor. The ambilical cord was wrapped around my neck.
Hadley's heart rate, mixed with my fever & high blood pressure wasn't something they wanted to mess around with.
It all happened so fast from this point forward.
It was like a hazmat team came out of no where. There were so many more nurses in the room all of a sudden, most from the NICU department.
They took the bottom portion of the bed away and laid down this huge mat. My doctor and nurse put on gowns and hats and were covered from head to toe!
Currently , I was glad I couldn't see what everyone else could see if this was how they were preparing !
My doctor gave me an episotimy and inserted the forcepts shortly after
One of the NICU nurses saw Hadley's heart rate one the monitor and started panicking. She said "that baby needs to come out NOW , how long has it been like that?" My doctor quickly snapped back "what do you think I'm trying to do?"
6pm
I pushed. She pulled. A couple times.
To my left was my husband holding my hand and pulling my leg back one second, then he would run down and see what they were doing to Hadley. He says to this day he is still tramatized from seeing them yank on her head with those forceps.
My mom was at the bottom of the bed taking in the whole room, I could see it on her face. The joy, being seconds away from becoming a grandma.
6:14 pm
Hadley Renee was born! They laid her on my chest and she cried and squirmed, just as ever parent hopes to see right away. She was beautiful. So tiny!
We had expected her to be on the larger side, since my husbands side of the family were all 9+ lbs babies.
I think delivering 3 weeks early helped with that though because she only weigh 6lbs & 8.9 oz! She was 18 inches long
& had ten fingers and toes! And were they right about that hair! So dark and so much.
I bawled like a baby! Looking up at Levi, he was to!! My mom was a given. She had been crying for 9 months at the drop of a hat when it came to anything Hadley related lol.
They took her from me to clean her up , and Levi followed her over to across the room to watch!
They began to deliver my placenta, which was going to be the thing to help cure my symptoms. My doctor stitched me up and told me how to car for myself and when she wanted to see me again. I just nodded and answered with vague "yeah, uh huh, play's" as all I could do was stare across the room at my husband, mother & BABY!
I could hear her cry, which was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard!
Levi ran out to tell everyone in the waiting room that had been anxiously awaiting her arrival all day there like us!
Our friends and family all came in from the waiting room to meet her!
It was such a special moment & was amazing to share it with all our loved ones!
The rest of our hospital stay was anything but a breeze. When she was born she had a fever as well as me, so they kept a close eye on her. And since she was considered pre term her blood sugar was low so they had to price her foot every 3 hours to check her levels!
Since your milk doesn't come in for a few days after birth and all you produce is colostrum she wasn't getting enough nutrients that she needed at such a young age. We actually had to resort to giving her some formula to bring her levels back up to where they needed to be!
As we were getting ready to leave they noticed she was a little jaundice and wanted us to follow up with her pediatrician the next day!
So once we came home, I made the appointment for the following morning. And they were right when she left the hospital her levels are at 9 and at the doctors they were 14.5 so they sent us home with a biliruben blanket she had to lay on and could only be taken off to eat or get her diaper changed.
We had to do this for 2 days and had to take her to the children's ER near by our house to get blood drawn to check her levels for 3 days.
It was very eventful, and exhausting for all! I just wanted it all to end. The poor babe had been poked and prodded for the last 6 days since she was born!
But now we have such a happy healthy beautiful baby girl. She only cries of Denis hungry or has a dirty diaper. She needed up gaining 12 oz at her one week checkup, so I'd like to think nursing is going well!
We will never ever forget the day she was born! I still can't believe it was already 3 weeks ago! It seems like just yesterday but at the same time it feels like she has been apart of our lives forever.