I am no where near a professional when it comes to all things motherhood. I learn millions of new things each day & I have never googled so much in my life!
But only 7 weeks into motherhood, and I'm definitely getting the hang of things & finding my own groove. They aren't kidding when they say "you'll just know!" My maternal instincts always kick in when I need them most!
As I scroll through my newsfeeds 90% of my friends are pregnant or new mothers! So we are all in this together! It's kinda like we're all apart of this amazing cult.
Therefore, this post is just to supply you with some tips I have picked up over the weeks that have helped me along the way and allowed me to keep my sanity.
But first, here is the center of my world now & who I'll be referring to during this entire blog!
Miss Hadley Renee
1. Breathe
My first few hours as a mother were both exciting and scary. I don't know about any of you but I often sat there in the hospital amazed by this beautiful thing my husband and I created.
All the while wondering what was I doing? I hardly changed diapers before, I was terrified to Breastfeed, I didn't know when the next time I would see the back of my eye lids & I handle our daughter with such gentle care you would have thought she was made of fragile glass.
It wasn't until we were all settled in at home and I woke up that first morning in my own bed, the sun shining in & this beautiful baby girl sleeping beside me that I felt at ease.
I had to remind myself to just breath! Everything would fall into place & that she could feel my energy.. So if I was stressed she would be too!
Baby's can't speak for themselfs, they just feed off our energy! I am a firm believer in energy and it affecting so much in our lives.. And this is just another situation that has proven to be true!
2. Never say NEVER!
There are so many things I always said I would never do before I had her. Like co- sleeping in our bed, breastfeeding in public to name a couple.
But you truly never know what is going to work best for you and your baby until they are here! And I'm sure every baby is different.
But now almost 2 months in and I'm totally comfortable feeding in public with a cover & Hadley sleeps in our bed making those night time feedings so much easier!
3. Make time for yourself
This may be a hard task to do. Especially if you are a single mother, or your partner is away for work often. I try to take at least 10-15 minutes for myself each day.. Sometimes longer if daddy's home to help!
Showering has become a luxury and feels like spa time! More than ever since we recently bought a new waterfall shower head! I will just stand there and let the water beat down enjoying the private time while it last.
I also try to maintain myself with some at home manicures or things as simple as styling my hair or just applying moisturizer. I have found when I feel good, I am more productive.
But let me tell you, if you can't get alone time you will become an amazing "mommy-tasker" aka multi-tasker.
I have applied false lashes one hand while holding Hadley and nursing with the other. I actually often apply my make up that way, or with her laying beside me in her rock-n-play !
I even use her rock-n-play int be bathroom if I need to shower and have no one to sit with her. I will just drag it in there, lay her in it & peak on her from time to time. But she is always contest. And just lays there looking around!
Thanks to baby wearing I have been able to keep up on house work when she is to fussy to lay down or just wants to be held!
4. Ask for Help!
Don't be afraid to ask for help! I have been so blessed with my parents living a couple miles from us.
My mom comes over often to bring food, to do some laundry, take the dog out or even sit with her while I shower.
She even runs errands with us to help out, as I am not fully used to doing things solo with the baby.
My step dad would come over in the mornings before he went to work to sit with her while I slept longer or showered as well. He even took us to her first doctors appointment when I still couldn't drive.
It doesn't hurt to ask your loved ones for help! Especially those who are already parents. They understand more than most what you are going , or are about to be going through!
5. Thank you's!
Have some thank you cards on hand!
Yes you may have already had your shower and received tons of gifts.. But as baby arrives, and new friends and family members meet him/her they most likely will have gifts! It's nice to keep up on your thank you cards!
I have received things from people I never thought of! Like my clients, so many gracious gifts from them since I've returned from leave!
6. Make mommy friends!
I can't stress this one enough and it's not hard to do! As soon as I announced I was pregnant I had girls from high school or old coworkers I hadn't spoken to in ages reaching out to me! Hince my cult reference. Woman just came out of the woodworks! It was really refreshing to know I wasn't alone!
I have been so thankful for my core group of mommy friends! Some I have known my whole life and some I just recently met!
I actually made a great friend in a mommy chat group through the "what to expect when you're expecting app" when I first found out I was pregnant.. She is from Iowa & we talk daily !! Her daughter ended up being born exactly a week after Hadley! So we have been going through the same steps at the same time for almost a year now.. Therefore it's been such a blessing to have her to go to when I'm in need! We really keep each other sane!
I am even apart of a 'March Moms 2015' group on Facebook, since that was when Hadley was supposed to be due lol even though so graced us with her presence 3 weeks early and made me a February mom!! But those ladies have been a great resource for me! We all just post questions and concerns & get tons of great responses! I especially liked this as a first time mom. There were other FTM's as well as veterans, so it was a good mix of opinions & advice! I don't think I could have made it through pregnancy and these first few weeks without these girls. They sure saved me lots of trips or calls to the ped's doctor in my FTM panic attacks lol.
Also, don't neglect the knowledge of your own mother! My mom, and mother in law have been my go to's for a lot of questions & they always have great advice and I value their opinions.
7. Don't forget to be a wife
I have been married for almost 4 years now and that has been the only life my husband and I have known in the last 6 years of us being together. It's just been the two of us! So adding a new little one to the mix has been an adjustment, but and amazing one!
He is so fantastic with her & surpassed my expectations! It is so attractive to see he man you love become a father.
I still try to keep some things the same though!
While I was pregnant I began meal planning for us, and I have gotten back into that routine recently so that he can expect dinners and things for lunches!
I try to pick up around the house as much as I can during the day so that he doesn't come home to a pigsty.
And even though the conversation has changed to "what to do you wanna do tonight", to "how is the baby doing?" I still text him during the day and send him lots of pictures of Hadley during day to make being away from her easier.
Date nights are still a must! We have yet to take one, but even getting out as a family! We go on walks when it's nice, or dinners & shopping.
8. Set yourself up for success
Every night before bed I take a lap around the house and put things back in their places.
I try to restock the diaper bag, run the dish-washer and make sure her laundry is all caught up so that in the morning we can start fresh and be ready to go!
It is such a time saver and just puts me in a better mood when I get out of bed knowing I don't have to do all of those things before we start our day!
9. You find out who your friends are
I have heard this time after time! "You really find out who your friends are once you have kids" and not even in a bad way, but that is so true!
Those without kids just won't understand at times what you are going through and will distance themselves from you, but that's okay!
You're growing, this is a new chapter! Embrace it. As a Christian I know and am confident that God has a bigger plan for me and my family than I have for myself. So I just looked at this transitional time in my life as some "friendship spring cleaning" that he took care of for me!
But I will say for every friend I lost, I gained 2 new ones! So don't let things like this get you down in what is supposed to be the happiest time in your life! These are the moments you can't get back.. So stay in them and enjoy them.
10. Trust yourself !
You have a maternal instinct that is so powerful. My mom always taught me from a very young age to trust those "gut instincts" & this is no different.
You WILL know what's best for your child. So take everyone's opinions with a grain of salt! Use what you want, and ignore what you don't!
As we creep up on Hadley turning 2 months old this week I toss her around like a football, with care of course. But no longer treat her like she's gonna break! I have conquered that breastfeeding that I was so nervous about! I sleep more than I thought I would, but admit it is crazy how little sleep I am capable of running on & I am such a pro at folding up dirty diaper!
So take it all in, with an open mind & know that you are going to be the best mom you can possibly be!
Xoxo,
Molly
